![]() At age 14, she entered a foster system that moved her from one home to another, where she was almost always abused. Eventually, she left Dorie at an orphanage, where a lesbian matron sexually abused her. In spite of his heavy drinking, smoking, and bouts of depression, God used him to save Western Europe from Hitler.Īs a child, Dorie Van Stone’s mother would put her into a drawer and then close it. They would often be away when he went home on vacation from his boarding school. How about Winston Churchill? Although his parents provided for his physical needs, they were not there for him emotionally. Yes, indeed, Americans owe a lot to this daughter of a dysfunctional home, as she advocated the rights of the poor, the unfortunate, and women. Although betrayed in her marriage, distressed by a controlling mother-in-law, and struggling with depression, she persistently espoused social rights. Homely as Eleanor was, even in her twenties her loveliness of personality was evident as she reached out to help the poor. For Eleanor’s protection, her grandmother sent her to boarding school as soon as possible. One was an alcoholic uncle who would shoot at the neighbors and their children. While under the care of a strict but concerned grandmother, she was exposed to two mentally ill relatives. When Eleanor was eight, her mother died, and her father’s alcoholism prevented his caring for her. Even as an adult, memories of her mother’s attitude haunted her-echoing the painful realization, ‘I’m ugly.’ “ 1 She would even discuss it in the presence of Eleanor and her friends. “She was a sensitive, timid child, and from her earliest years, Eleanor knew she was a disappointment to her mother, who would look at Eleanor rather coldly, worrying that her daughter might never become beautiful. When Eleanor Roosevelt was born, her gorgeous socialite mother, Anna, marveled that she could have produced such a homely child. Dysfunction Does Not Mean You Cannot Be Great! The extent to which a specific family dysfunction influences us depends upon the degree, timing, and context in which we received the abuse, injustice, or injury, and our coping capacities. They sap our energy and resources, as would a chronic disease. Its ripples can affect society in social costs, affecting non-familial relations. Like a genetic disease, dysfunction is frequently passed on, in some form, from generation to generation. Even a physical disease like congestive heart failure can become so severe that significant cognitive impairment, cantankerous attitudes, and impaired interpersonal relationships result, all because the blood vessels supplying the brain are not receiving sufficient blood and oxygen for its needs. Alcohol, drug abuse, “workaholism,” mental illness, parental neglect, indifference, abandonment, or the untimely death of a family member can contribute to personal dysfunction and dysfunctional group behavior. When families become dysfunctional, society becomes dysfunctional because the family is society’s foundational unit. For example, when a dysfunctional organ or system of your body results in disease, you had better see a doctor sooner rather than later if you want to survive. You can modify this situation-at least partially-or remove yourself. But when a situation involves people who must relate to each other or when circumstances are perceived as intolerable, you must do one of two things. Some dysfunctional things or people grate on one’s nerves just a little bit-like a squeaky door. ![]() ![]() The simplest meaning of “dysfunctional” is “doesn’t work right.” Dysfunction comes in differing degrees.
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